Humor Books
Bless your heart
Ryan, Lindy, author.
2024
But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy's body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it's clear that the Strigoi - the original vampire - are back. As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi's return. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren't the only things you want to keep buried.
The corpse in the closet
Score, Lucy, author
2024
"First, her disapproving grandmother arrives determined to make Riley take her powers seriously or face the wrath of "the Guild." Then there's the homicide detective who needs her help figuring out who murdered the well-dressed corpse in the walk-in closet. Nick's got his own hands full with a tricky missing person case and his parents who want to know why he didn't tell them about his live-in girlfriend. Then there's the fact that he's still the tiniest bit stressed about Riley almost getting murdered earlier that summer. The last thing he wants is her getting involved in another investigation. Things go from bad to worse when the body count starts stacking up, the meet-the-parents dinner goes horribly wrong, and their elderly roommate is up to no good...dressed like a mime. To top it off, Riley is forced to return to Channel 50 on official police business to question her spray-tanned news anchor ex-husband and his new weather girl fianc©♭e. The trouble comes to a head when Riley receives a warning from the killer: Back off or she's next. Someone has to solve these murders before she becomes the next corpse"-- Provided by publisher.
Dirty thirty
Evanovich, Janet, author
2023
Trenton, New Jersey's most underappreciated bounty hunter, Stephanie Plum, while taking care of her boyfriend's giant orange dog, tracks the former security guard of a local jeweler who supposedly stole a fortune of diamonds, and must keep herself clean when everyone else is playing dirty.
Every time I go on vacation, someone dies : a novel
Mack, Catherine, author
2024
All that bestselling author Eleanor Dash wants is to get through her book tour in Italy and kill off her main character, Connor Smith, in the next in her Vacation Mysteries series-is that too much to ask? Clearly, because when an attempt is made on the real Connor's life-the handsome but infuriating con man she got mixed up with ten years ago and now can't get out of her life-Eleanor's enlisted to help solve the case. Contending with literary rivals, rabid fans, a stalker-and even her ex, Oliver, who turns up unexpectedly-theories are bandied about, and rivalries, rifts, and broken hearts are revealed. But who's really trying to get away with murder?
Everyone in my family has killed someone
Stevenson, Benjamin, author
2023
Everyone in my family has killed someone. Some of us, the high achievers, have killed more than once. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but it is the truth. Some of us are good, others are bad, and some just unfortunate. I'm Ernest Cunningham. Call me Ern or Ernie. I wish I'd killed whoever decided our family reunion should be at a ski resort, but it's a little more complicated than that. Have I killed someone? Yes. I have. Who was it? Let's get started.
Finlay Donovan rolls the dice
Cosimano, Elle, author
2024
Finlay Donovan and her nanny/partner-in-crime Vero are in sore need of a girls' weekend away. They plan a trip to Atlantic City, but odds are - seeing as it's actually a cover story to negotiate a deal with a dangerous loan shark, save Vero's childhood crush Javi, and hunt down a stolen car - it won't be all fun and games. When Finlay's ex-husband Steven and her mother insist on tagging along too, Finlay and Vero suddenly have a few too many meddlesome passengers along for the ride.
Iona Iverson's rules for commuting : a novel
Pooley, Clare, author
2022
Every day Iona, a larger-than-life magazine advice columnist, travels the ten stops from Hampton Court to Waterloo Station by train, accompanied by her dog, Lulu. Every day she sees the same people, whom she knows only by nickname: Impossibly-Pretty-Bookworm and Terribly-Lonely-Teenager. Of course, they never speak. Seasoned commuters never do. Then one morning, the man she calls Smart-But-Sexist-Manspreader chokes on a grape right in front of her. He'd have died were it not for the timely intervention of Sanjay, a nurse, who gives him the Heimlich maneuver. This single event starts a chain reaction, and an eclectic group of people with almost nothing in common except their commute discover that a chance encounter can blossom into much more.
Mal goes to war
Ashton, Edward (Science fiction writer), author
2024
As a free A.I., Mal finds the war between the modded and augmented Federals and the puritanical Humanists about as interesting as a battle between rival anthills. He's not above scouting the battlefield for salvage, though, and when the Humanists abruptly cut off access to infospace he finds himself trapped in the body of a cyborg mercenary, and responsible for the safety of the modded girl she died protecting.
Pride and joy : a novel
Onomé, Louisa, author.
2024
Joy Okafor is overwhelmed as the dutiful Nigerian daughter has been planned every aspect of her mother's seventieth birthday weekend on her own. But when the grandkids try to wake Mama Mary, they find that she isn't sleeping after all. Refusing to believe that her sister is gone-gone, Auntie Nancy declares that she has had a premonition: Mama Mary will rise again like Jesus Christ himself on Easter Sunday. The family overhauls their birthday plans to welcome the Nigerian Canadian community and the host of AJAfrika TV to help spread the word that Mama Mary is coming back.
The reason I married him
Quinn, Meghan, author
2024
He proposed... and I said yes. Normally a jovial occasion for a couple in love, but this proposal has a very different feel. Because the man that I'll be calling my husband blew into town with one thing on his mind... to make my life a living nightmare. So why did I say yes? Well, because we both need something from each other. Namely, I want the farm land he currently owns, and he needs a wife in order to inherit his family cabin in his grandfather's will. So as he so eloquently put it, my hand, for his land. At first, I thought the idea was nuts. Who really gets married out of convenience? Apparently, I do. And now we have to sell our relationship to the town. Meaning, we're holding hands, he's pinching my cheeks... upper and lower. We're even forced to share the one-bedroom guest house on the farm where his monstrous body is taking up a large percentage of the bed. But we're so persuasive about our farse, that now I'm starting to think he actually might like me. Especially when he grabs me by the wrist and teases the shell of my ear as he whispers, "Mine."
Says who? : a kinder, funner usage guide for everyone who cares about words
Curzan, Anne, author
2024
"A kinder, funner usage guide to the ever-changing English language and a useful tool for both the grammar stickler and the more colloquial user of English, from linguist and veteran professor Anne Curzan. Our use of language naturally evolves and is a living, breathing thing that reflects who we are. Says Who? offers clear, nuanced guidance that goes beyond "right" and "wrong" to empower us to make informed language choices. Never snooty or scoldy (yes, that's a "real" word!), this book explains where the grammar rules we learned in school actually come from and reveals the forces that drive dictionary editors to label certain words as slang or unacceptable. Linguist and veteran English professor Anne Curzan equips readers with the tools they need to adeptly manage (a split infinitive?! You betcha!) formal and informal writing and speaking. After all, we don't want to be caught wearing our linguistic pajamas to a job interview any more than we want to show up for a backyard barbecue in a verbal tux, asking, "To whom shall I pass the ketchup?" Curzan helps us use our new knowledge about the developing nature of language and grammar rules to become caretakers of language rather than gatekeepers of it. Applying entertaining examples from literature, newspapers, television, and more, Curzan welcomes usage novices and encourages the language police to lower their pens, showing us how we can care about language precision, clarity, and inclusion all at the same time. With lively humor and humanity, Says Who? is a pragmatic and accessible key that reveals how our choices about language usage can be a powerful force for equity and personal expression. For proud grammar sticklers and self-conscious writers alike, Curzan makes nerding out about language fun"-- Provided by publisher.
Worry : a novel
Tanner, Alexandra, 1991- author
2024
"Frances Ha meets No One Is Talking About This in a debut that follows two twenty-something siblings-turned-roommates navigating an absurd world about to suffer great change-a Seinfeldian novel of existentialism and sisterhood. It's March of 2019, and twenty-eight-year-old Jules Gold-anxious, artistically frustrated, and internet-obsessed-has been living alone in the apartment she once shared with the man she thought she'd marry when her younger sister Poppy comes to crash. Indefinitely. Poppy is a year out from a suicide attempt only Jules knows about, and as she searches for work and meaning in Brooklyn, Jules spends her days hate-scrolling the feeds of Mormon mommy bloggers and waiting for life to happen. Then the hives that've plagued Poppy since childhood flare up. Jules's uterus turns against her. Poppy brings home a maladjusted rescue dog named Amy Klobuchar. The girls' mother-a newly devout Messianic Jew-starts falling for the same deep-state conspiracy theories as Jules's online mommies. A trip home to Florida ends in disaster. Amy Klobuchar may or may not have rabies. And Jules struggles halfheartedly to scrape her way to the source of her ennui, slowly and cruelly coming to blame Poppy for her own insufficiencies as a friend, a writer, and a sister. As the year shambles on and a new decade looms near, Jules and Poppy-comrades, competitors, permanent fixtures in each other's lives-must ask themselves what they want their futures to look like, and whether they'll spend them together or apart. Deadpan, dark, and brutally funny, Worry is a sharp portrait of two sisters enduring a dread-filled American moment from a nervy new voice in contemporary fiction" -- Provided by publisher.
You'd look better as a ghost
Wallace, Joanna, author.
2024
Claire, an aspiring artist and part-time serial killer, realizes someone is watching her-someone who knows about her murderous hobby-and she, while attending a weekly bereavement support group after losing her father, must finish off her blackmailer before they reveal all.